29/07/2013 If you suspecting your spouse is cheating on you but you have got no funds to hire a private investigator then you should try these simple tips to catch him/her. Make sure you really want to know the truth before taking this steps.
First and foremost, you need to keep a daily log book to tract everything your partner does.Some days you may not have anything to post but date it anyway and post nothing. I would use a notebook for this so you and keep it hidden. If they are cheating or if they are not, this isn't something you want just laying out in the open. This book is to help you to determine if they are cheating or not.
If your married and they are cheating this will come in handy for the divorce if it gets nasty. Getting started you will enter into your log book anything and everything that you feel is important. The time he left for work, the time he came home. When he called, where he was when he called, attitude he had, everything. In about a month or so, you may be able to see a pattern of some sort. This pattern will help you.
Some of the things I will suggest you to do will seem way off the wall but trust me, it's all worth it.
I am going to speak from a woman's point of view so for you men who are reading this, it goes both way. You can do everything I suggest too.
You may smell perfume on his clothing but don't stop there, look closely at his shirt and see if you can see makeup. I think all women know the smell of their own perfume so if it smells different from your own, be aware of it. It's possible you may smell that same perfume on someone you know. Don't be ashamed to write that in your log. For Example: Clothes smelled like perfume....Julie wears that same perfume.
Remember this book of notes is for your eyes only. It's possible the next time he comes home it may be a different kind of perfume. Not all cheaters cheat with the same person. It's very likely they are seeing more than one person. It's much harder for a cheater to get caught when they are seeing several people or having one night stands verses the same person.
Be aware of how your partner acts when your driving in the car, if he breaks his neck to look at a passing red mustang that went by you, write this in your book. If he is showing special interest in a car driving down the road it's obvious he's looking at the car for a reason. If he does this on all cars ignore it. Seriously, if he watching all the same type and color cars, it's a pattern. You need to put this in your notes for a later date.
Check out his stories. If he told you he had makeup and perfume on his shirt because he ran into his Mom at the store, ask her the next time you see her. When you do this, do it in a way that doesn't sound like you are probing her for answers. Just say, something like "Did you see Hamisi
last week", I was wondering if he told you about.........then make up something. If she said no, I didn't see him, then well, he didn't tell you the truth. If she said yeah I saw him Friday but this occurred on Wednesday, he's not being honest with you.
I have found it's much easier to get information from people when they don't know you are fishing. Say your husband said he went golfing with his buddy Steve on Saturday but you think it's a lie. If Steve is married or has a girlfriend, make an attempt to run into her so you can ask her. Remember, you want to ask questions with out raising suspicion. I would suggest saying "I had a very busy weekend, what did you end of doing". Chances are your husbands buddy wouldn't tell his wife he was covering up for your husband. Then you can say what did Steve do all weekend.
Be noisy, if he has a briefcase, look through it when he is in the shower or not at home. Make sure you don't get caught. Check his cell phone for numbers and text messages. You can go online and do reverse look ups to check out phone numbers. If your really brave, 67 on your phone will block your number and call and see who answers. If it's a cell phone number, you can search to see who the carrier is and once you know that, you can find out the message line for that carrier, call the number and put the unknown number in, it will take you into their voice mail and you can see if it's a lady or man's voice.
If he is going out all the time and never invites you, ask him if you can go with him. If says no, then he has a reason for not wanting you to go. He is either going somewhere besides where he told you or he is meeting someone.
If you believe he is going to the same bar/hangout, wait a hour after he leaves and drive over their. See if his car/truck is parked in the parking lot. If it is, you got 2 choices, you can go inside and find him or you can park your car out of his view and wait and see if he comes out with someone. Just because his car/truck is parked there doesn't mean he is there. He could have left with someone. If you plan to sit and wait to see him leave, have a friend join you so your not alone. It's not safe for a female to be parked alone in a car at night. If you can take photo's/video take them. Only do this if you can't get caught. You can also ask a friend that your partner doesn't know to go to the bar and hang out. They can snap photo's of him without him knowing it. Honestly, you just have to be creative in finding out the truth. If you decide to go inside and find him, don't rush over to him, just try to slip in and not be noticed. If you see him with someone, I wouldn't go over and say anything, I would leave, go home and confront him when he gets home. Don't cause a scene in public. I know that would be the natural thing to do but just don't do it.
If someone you know tells you they saw your man with someone, you need to consider the source. Is this person honest, do they have anything to gain by lying to you. Usually, someone will drop hints to you if they know your partner is cheating on you. They may not come right out and tell you but usually someone will hint around. Other people don't want to get involved but at the same time, they feel like you should know. Hence, dropping hints without telling on them.
Look for receipts for dinner, jewelry, lingerie, anything that you know he has not given you or dinner at a place you did not go. These could be in his truck/car, nightstand, pay attention to little things.
If you have a joint checking account, go online and search the transactions.
If you see anything in there that's weird, make note of this. The more information you can write down in your log the more information you will have when it comes time to confront him or file for divorce.
Listen to your gut feeling. If your gut is telling you something is going on, you can bet it is. Don't make excuses for him. Don't try to convince yourself he's not doing anything wrong. 1st, he is doing something wrong otherwise you wouldn't be thinking he was cheating on you.
Does your partner come home mad at you? If your partner has been out most of the night and you are waiting up from them and they are bitter and angry with you when they come home, that's a huge red light. Chances are they were out having their good time but they now feel guilty and they need to push the guilt from themselves over on to you. In my opinion, if you are out and your partner is home, you should be happy to see them when you get home. If they come in and start picking a fight with you, put this in your log book.
I would bet this is one of the nights they have been up to no good.
After about a month or two you can read over your log book and see if you can figure out a pattern. In my opinion, if you had to spend two months writing all this down and they are not changing their ways, chances are they are out doing something they should not be doing. At this point, you are going to have to make a decision.
You can confront them. I would never bring up the log book. I would just start off by saying "I can't help but notice over the past few month you have been.................give them a chance to talk to you. Don't accuses them from the get go, allow them a chance to explain. It's very possible they may confess. Some people want to get caught not because they want out but because they don't know how to stop and things at home may not be so good. If this is the case and you want to save your relationship, seek professional help.
The other option is to let them know you are aware things are not going good and that you feel like it's time for a separation. You don't need to put yourself through all this, life is to short to be miserable at someone else's hands. If they act like they have no clue why you want to leave them you can tell them you why. Don't show them or tell them about your log book.
If those two options don't work for you and you just have to confront them about cheating, do so in a calm and cool manor. Let them know you are aware of what is going on and you are not going to allow yourself to live with someone who has no respect for you.
To sum all this up, this information is for you to figure out if your partner is cheating or not. Remember no matter what you find out, something made you feel the way you did. You have to decide if you really want to spend your life with someone who gives you doubts. The information you uncover is up to you how you choose to use it. Just keep in mind you deserve to be with someone who would never make you feel no good enough. Take care and good luck in your investigation!